20th Century Vampire
Comedy about a teenage girl who discovers she is a vampire

Eloise (Louise Lombard) works at the Co-op supermarket in a town in the North of England. She feels different from the people around her, dresses in black, and is unhappy much of the time, as if some piece of her life is missing. Then her mysterious Transylvanian Aunt Lucretia (Joanna Kanska) reveals that she is really a vampire, a hereditary condition, and she must enter training to fulfill her destiny. Eloise eventually embraces her fate, but has to deal with her boyfriend Wayne, played by William Ivory, and her equally mystified co-workers at the store, including flatmate and best friend Debbie (Jane Hazlegrove). She is horrified to find herself back in "school", with Lucretia as the teacher, even to the extent of sitting for three hour examination papers. Having been a miserable failure at exams in school despite her intelligence, she is convinced she will fail yet again. However, the exams have a "practical section" which saves her grade.

Later she wants to tell Wayne and others about herself, but Lucretia convinces her to test them first by telling each a different, fictitious but shocking "secret" about herself, making them promise not to tell anyone else, to see if they can in fact keep her confidence. So Wayne learns that she was once jailed for stealing, Debbie is told that she is pregnant, and she tells her boss Mr. Jenkins that she is secretly in love with him. With some nudging from Lucretia, hilarious consequences ensue.

!No MP3s found. The MP3 files used by this podcast appear to be missing. They may have been removed permanently from their source location.

  1. I Am A Vampire (0Mb)
  2. Back to School (0Mb)
  3. The Biggest Secret (0Mb)
  4. Staff Outing (0Mb)
  5. Endangered Species (0Mb)
  6. Love Shack (0Mb)

MP3 files hosted by archive.org.